Today makes my first full week of my new ‘normal’ routine. My first employment-free week. While losing one’s job is on the list of life’s most traumatic events, I am determined to not let the events of the past week derail my forward progress I have made over the past (almost) year in my year of self-improvement.
What I have learned over the past year is that NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING in life happens by chance. Each moment, each interaction, each experience is given to us as an opportunity to learn. The universe gives us all the tools we need to be happy, we just need to pay attention.
So here we are, Old Sarah would have fallen into a disgusting spiral of anger, shame and self-loathing. New me is looking for the silver-lining. Here’s what I have learned so far:
It’s Better to Have Loved and Lost . . .
Our family experienced its first loss with the death of our beloved dog, Beans. Its been a trying time for the kids, as they haven’t had to deal with the death of a non-furry loved one, but I feel fortunate we got to navigate the emotions of grieving on Beans. We have had some rather candid conversations of what happens when you die, what we do with the body after death and appropriate ways to memorialize him. E even found a way to make me snap out of my intermittent crying with a comment asking since Beans had been cremated, should we call him Baked Beans. Totally inappropriate, but a great way to clear the air. Kids are way more resilient they we give them credit for.
Beans provided a great deal of laughter, fine cuddles and memorable moments. Especially his uncanny ability to punctuate his feelings by defecating or urinating on you or your most prized possessions. I am very blessed to have spent 11 years with him and as an acquaintance said to me at yoga the other day, I hope Beans spirit finds me again in this life.
You Spend a Whole Hell of A lot of Time at Work, Make Sure You Enjoy It!
I HATED my job. I dreaded Mondays, I counted down the hours until Friday and wished away weeks of my life. It wasn’t that I disliked the people, in-fact, they were the main reason I stayed longer than I should have.
I reported to a boss for the lack of any other reasonable explanation, didn’t get me and never really cared to. I kept an actual calendar with our interactions. I once went 2 months without her even returning a good-morning or hello to me. The universe had been telling me over and over and over again that it was time to move on, but I fought it and finally on October 16th, I was told that my position had been abolished and to collect some of my things and to find the door. Nice.
Had I quit like I had originally planned, I wouldn’t have gotten the generous severance package I received nor would I be able to collect unemployment while I contemplate (again) the answer to the question of what I want to do when I grow up. What I can tell you the next job will not require me to compromise my moral beliefs, nor will be a place I feel embarrassed to say I was employed. Nor will I dread going there day in and day out.
And the Journey Begins
I plan to use this blog to help me navigate my next move in life and as a platform to evaluate past experiences that I feel have brought me to where I am today. Tomorrow I plan on starting a 30 day practice to create something every day for 30 days as a way to regain some of the creative juices I feel have been sucked from me from my unfulfilling job.
To start they 30 day practice, I started with a new look. Here’s my sassy new hairstyle. Thanks Bridg, for the do! Who said a new hairdo can’t make you feel like a new woman!
Good Night and Namaste Friends!